Failed Relationships & How To Overcome Them.

If you’re anything like me you’ve always dreamt of your fairytale wedding from such a young age. I fantasised about being a Princess for a day for as long as I can remember. I was also in LOVE with Baby Born dolls and would always be a fantastic mommy to them considering I was only 5 years of age, myself. (Lol) So for the longest time I’ve aspired to become a wife and mother, this has compromised me slightly. It’s made me become someone who puts up with a lot and has given me a lot of fight when it comes to relationships. I hold on for dear life when sometimes I would be better off letting go.

Identify your problem!

My problem is letting go. I cannot let go for the life of me. I have a tight hold, which makes it impossible for a partner to leave me, even if they wanted too. Once they’ve detached themselves from me, my arms are open for them to come back.. So they do, out of familiarity not love, and love is what I’m ultimately searching for. If you can find your problem, you can find a solution. Remember, there’s two people in a relationship and your partner may identify that as a pair, you aren’t suited and both of you need different things for your separate paths in life. Not just one person is to blame for the failure of a relationship.

Don’t become bitter.

If your relationship fails, don’t let bitterness take over your heart. I’ve experienced bitterness in the past and it makes your healing process even harder. Forgiveness is a very big strength to have, to forgive someone you are freeing yourself of the burden & pain it puts on your shoulders. Cry it out, release your sadness, it won’t all disappear overnight but once you’ve released it all you can start to forgive. Whatever has happened in your relationship that has hurt you, forgive them. You once loved each other and they once made you happy. Think of all the good time you’ve shared and use this to continue a civil relationship with your ex.

Take your time.

DO NOT rush into another relationship to distract yourself from the pain of your last relationship. After a break-up you need time to heal and time to love yourself as a single person; a person on their own & not someone who makes sacrifices for the one they love. There’s a saying “To get over someone, get under someone else.” WRONG. Take this time to do things you enjoy, spread your wings and fly. Pamper yourself, spend money on yourself, be SELFISH.

Don’t be afraid to be single.

Being single is not a bad thing and doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a relationship. Being single is also a part of personal growth, a time where you can really know yourself. Compromises come with relationships and whilst being single you have the opportunity to chose your path solely on your own.

Don’t settle for mediocrity.

To know you’ve finally healed and have come to a place of self love and appreciation, you will not settle for somebody who is mediocre. You deserve to be swept off your feet, cared for, loved properly, understood, catered too. You also need someone who loves and respects themselves so they can love and respect you in the same manner.

I witnessed people I know struggle through break-ups, even myself…

A very important factor is loving yourself. You cannot expect to fully love somebody else if you don’t love yourself and vice versa for them. Jumping into relationships after relationships is also a sign that you aren’t fully comfortable with yourself as a single individual, you desire someones love and affection when in reality you should be giving that to yourself first and foremost. If you find that you’re doing this, it’s time to take a step back and focus on YOU..

Remember, being single isn’t a bad thing.

2 Comments

  1. What a wise head on a young woman. You are so right one must first love oneself before they can love another and not be afraid to be sad for a while, embrace it, fall down, lay there for a while then strand up and start walking again. Believe me the view with be beautiful! Thank you for your inspiration.

    Like

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