20 Somethings..

They say your 20s are meant to be the best decade of your life. I’d say that your 20s are extremely overated. I’d like to think my 30s will be much better. I am only 23 approaching 24 but all I can say is so far it’s not cranked out to how it’s portrayed. I definitely don’t have my life together now and I most certainly still don’t feel like I’m adulting. Infact, I hate adulting. I want to be a kid a lot longer.

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What they don’t tell you about your 20s!
Did anyones parents and extended family forget to tell you that adulting isn’t all what it’s made out to be? I remember when I was like 15 and I wanted my nose pierced so badly and my parents told me no. I remember saying “Well, when I turn 18 I’m going to get all the piercings I want and you can’t tell me otherwise.” Turns out when I turned 18 I didn’t even remember about wanting to pierce my nose and then when I did at 19 it was only because I was going through crisis times. That’s something I’ve realised about myself.. I seem to want piercings when I’m going through a bad patch, to me it seems like a way of ‘self harm’ without actually self harming and the piercings are a reminder of what I was going through at that time. That could be an observation about a lot of people including myself or maybe people just get piercings because they actually do want them. Since I turned 20 I got 2 more piercings though I said I wouldn’t get anymore. (My sister will remind me of this everytime I get a piercing for sure!) Anyway, back to the point.. Now that I’m an adult and I’m not just 18, or 19 figuring out my ‘adulthood’ and what boundaries I could push.. I genuinely wish I could go back to being a child, with no responsibilities and the worst that could happen to me was a grazed knee.

So here’s my problem with the 20s.. There’s a lot of pressure in society to be successful at such a young age. Your expected to have it all figured out and if you don’t you’re seen as lazy. I admit I also put the pressure on myself that I wanted to be married at 25 and have kids etc, now at 23 I realise I am still young! There’s still so much to be done. I don’t think that within the next 2 years I will be married and having kids. Anything can happen however, I’m at a point in my life where I want to do things properly and taking the time to know what’s right for me is part of that process so I’m no longer rushing. I stayed in a relationship that wasn’t right for me thinking I’d have my goal at 25 of marriage and kids and it did me no favours. So here I am back at the start taking my time in my relationship to make sure we can live the happiest life with no pressure.

Along with the pressure of ‘having it all’ there’s the pressure to be either an entrepeneur, rich or popular, have a large social media following and also to have either purchased your own property, to get married etc. I sometimes remind myself that by not being married yet it’s not a problem. My parents got married in their 30s, why is that seen as something super ‘late’ in this society? There’s also the pressure to have kids with your partners, as there’s a rise in kids outside of wedlock it’s seen as a normality now and for someone to want to wait until marriage seems a bit of a taboo subject. Not to mention that marriage doesn’t equate to the amount of security one can get from it anymore as it’s downplayed so much.

“How could it be, 20 something, all alone still, not a thing in my name..”

SZA

What my 20s has taught me so far..
Life isn’t a race, and although everyone makes it out to be you can’t bow down to societys pressures. I’ve stopped caring about what people thought of me, I’ve stopped caring about how many likes I’d recieve on social media as if that shows me my value. As I’m growing I’m starting to see and realise that a lot of these things don’t matter. In my eyes I’m still winning in life and I’m doing everything as and when I can. My 20s have also taught me that many people still don’t have their lives together (in societys eyes) way beyond their 20s, 30s and even 40s and 50s and it’s not an issue. It’s whatever works for them. Who am I to judge the way others live?
Being in your 20s doesn’t mean you’re adulting. I feel like I still have so much to figure out and I’m getting there at my own pace, I’m doing well at my own pace and I need to acknowledge that. Whilst in my 20s I should be living my life to the fullest, enjoying every moment without societys pressures and going at my own pace.

For the rest of my 20 somethings, I’m going to take it at a walking pace and enjoy all that life has to offer me.

What has your 20s taught you?